Ambition is not a Dirty Word

Friends or “Friends”?

Dear Debra: Should I accept Facebook “friend” invitations from co-workers I don’t know that well and don’t socialize with? I keep my personal life pretty private. Will I offend if I don’t accept?

There are 3 ways of dealing with this dilemma:

Sample the Goods Before Buying and Land Your Dream Job

Dear Debra: I’ve been laid off from a job I hated with six months’ severance. I want to think carefully about what I want to do next. Advice?

Volunteering or interning is a great strategy if your goal is to avoid simply filling time or gaining irrelevant experience that does nothing to move you toward meaningful, challenging work.  Volunteer to sample a new company or industry. If you love the work, leverage it into a paid position. Here’s how.

Brush Up on Your Note Taking Skills

Excerpt from article by Heather Huhman, Entry Level Careers Examiner at Examiner.com

Even students’ years in school often times don’t prepare them properly for taking notes in the workplace. While it may seem a trivial task, once you miss an important direction or assignment, you’ll realize just how crucial it is.

If you can, record in addition to writing. “Stand out from the intern herd by showing up with a small, digital audio recorder. Say, ‘Do you mind if I tape this while also taking notes? That way, I can be sure not to miss anything and can go back and listen again to anything I didn't absorb the first time. This will save you time training me and get me up to speed 10 times faster!’ Most bosses not only will say yes, but will be impressed that you thought of this and dazzled by your ambition and thoroughness and desire to get it right,” said Dr. Debra Condren, a business psychologist, author and founder of AmbitionIsNotADirtyWord.com.

Click here to read article in its entirety.

Exciting News from Carol Jenkins

We have some exciting news we want to share with you, a member of The Women's Media Center extended family: the WMC has acquired SheSource.org, the online database of over 500 women experts. This makes the WMC the definitive source for women analysts and experts -- and meshes perfectly with our intensive media training program, Progressive Women's Voices.

Click here to read more about WMC and SheSource.org

How to Navigate your Annual Review in This Bleak Economic Enviroment

Dear Debra: My annual review is next week.  Should I negotiate for a raise or just be glad to have a job?

Always negotiate.  What's the worst that happens?  You learn there's a freeze on raises or bonuses, so you negotiate for non-monetary perks: an updated, more prestigious title that adds more cache to your resume; an opportunity to take over as editor of your company's industry newsletter or head up a project you have stars in your eyes for; working one day a week from home to cut out two hours a week of commuting time and cost.

Getting Noticed by a Laisez Fairre Boss

Dear Debra: My boss doesn’t get how much I’m responsible for. He pays lip service, saying few people would be able to pull off all of the things I do and also manage the number of people I do. But he’s never done my job and is clueless about what it really takes. He’s hands off and relies on me to just make it happen. How can I get credit from him and other board members for being a high performer?

Not every boss will give you recognition for your contributions, so it’s up to you to get strategic and credit-savvy.

The First 10 Things You Should Do When You Get Laid Off

1. Take a deep breath. Put aside emotions. Think rationally about practical questions you need to ask in the here and now. Go into calm, problem-solving crisis mode. Take notes. Say: “I want to jot this down because I’m sort of in shock and want to be able to remember what we discuss.”
   
   
2. Negotiate your severance package. If your employer offers two weeks, negotiate for two months based on stellar performance. Can you cash in unused vacation or sick days to be included on you final paycheck? Will your lay-off package provide outplacement services such as career coaching?
   
   
3. Offer to be an independent contractor on an hourly or project-based rate; your soon-to-be-former employer may become your first consulting client.
   
   

How to Start Your Own Business While Working Full-Time For Someone Else

Dear Debra: I’m dying to start a small business. How can I find time to set myself up as an entrepreneur while working 9-5 for someone else?

Claim two hours a day for start-up activities. One is for creative, strategic, hard planning—activities that require your brain to be fully awake and fired up. The second hour is for the roll-up-your-sleeves, boring, rote grunt work that doesn’t call for mental alertness or focus—just time. Every one of us can find two otherwise wasted hours, no matter what our work and life situation.

Staying True To Our Dreams Makes Us The Best Parents We Can Be

Dear Debra: Regarding your prior post, life is not, I repeat, not long. At best you have
about 74 years on this planet. Your children, however, will not be young forever. If you want
them to be around you when you are 74, you may want to invest as much time and energy into
their upbringing as necessary to gain and secure their unconditional love for those years when
you will need them down the stretch. 10 year olds really don't care about your career, or how
much money you make. My wife's mantra, when I was obsessed with my career was this: your
children are only young once.

Jim, you are buying into a socially-sanctioned, common-but-false assumption that
ambitious people face an either/or choice: either we strive to get the education we need and
devote time to create opportunities that move us toward meaningful, challenging work that
pays us well and allows us to make the contribution we were born to make, or we scale
back our dreams—because to do otherwise requires shortchanging our children and being
rotten parents. This is a false choice.

Finding Fulfillment Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Dear Debra: I’m working full-time while finishing an advanced degree. My company is paying for grad school, so taking advantage of that benefit is smart. But I’m spending way less time than I’d like with my ten-year-old. My husband works from home and is happy doing most of the carpooling, play dates, and homework. Working crazy hours is temporary and will benefit us long-term, but still I feel like a shitty mom and wife.

Don’t beat yourself up for not having a perfectly balanced work and home life, all at the same time. Write this down on note cards: Life is long.