Reality Check no. 9: Do You Apologize To Downplay Your Expertise?

Use to form below to fill out your answers. We will email you a copy of the completed form which you can print and paste into your Ambition Journal. NOTE: Your name and e-mail will never be published; we need them simply to tell that you are a real person and so that your completed forms can be e-mailed to you.

Check any behaviors that you recognize in your own style.

 

Name:	Email Address:
You begin every other sentence with a disclaimer: "I may be out of my league, but it seems to me that…." You downplay your talents or accomplishments for fear of being perceived as conceited or arrogant: "I'm no expert but …." You present a self-effacing demeanor by punctuating the end of your serious statements with a short laugh. In groups, you are reticent to rise to your feet when you speak. You feel a lot less conspicuous if you remain in your chair. You're afraid to charge for an initial consultation. You feel the need to explain or defend yourself when discussing fees or asking clients to sign a contract. Your knee-jerk reaction in a conflict is to back down: "Oh, you're probably right; let's just forget about it." When making a point or talking about your business, you speak quickly or foreshorten what you intended to say so as to take up less time. You minimize or forgive the time requirement for canceling an appointment, rather than making a client pay for the hour meeting he missed, even though he knows what your policy is. You delay asking for an overdue pay raise. After laying out money for a purchase for which you expect to be reimbursed, you obsessively explain to the client or boss why you had to buy it, how it was worth the cost, why anyone in your shoes would have done the same thing, and so on. Or you don't mention the purchase at all and decide to absorb the cost. Whenever you do something nice for yourself, or take care of your own basic needs, you feel the need to justify it: "I've put in 70-hour weeks for months so it's okay to take Friday off for my mother's funeral."

 

If the number of checks you made seems surprising or high to you, we’ve got some work to do, but don’t worry. Soon you’ll have erased the preemptive apology from your repertoire of workplace behaviors.